The Tornado, the Profanity, and the Lesson We Almost Missed

 

Recently, I came across a video that has stayed with me far longer than I expected.

A local farming family had just lost nearly everything to a tornado.

Their home.

Their farm.

Their machinery.

Their equipment.

Their outbuildings.

Two beloved family dogs.

In a matter of moments, an entire way of life had been turned upside down.

Shortly after the tornado, the husband and father gave an informal interview. Standing in the aftermath of unimaginable loss, he tried to put words to what had just happened.

And as he spoke, he used the word "fuck" several times.

What surprised me wasn't the language.

What surprised me was the response.

Among the messages of support were comments focused almost entirely on the words he used. Some people never acknowledged the loss. They never mentioned the family. They never offered support, encouragement, or compassion.

Instead, their attention remained fixed on a single word.

As I sat with my reaction, I realized this wasn't really about language at all.

It was about compassion.

It was about perspective.

And perhaps most importantly, it was about what we choose to focus on.

I even found myself commenting:

"Sending this family so much strength as they move through the gruelling stages of recovery from an event and loss like this.

And to the people more concerned about the use of the 'F' word; this family endured a huge loss and a single word that is being used to express the shock, surprise, loss and other emotions and feelings is what you are concerned about? Get over yourself."

The truth is, my own reaction caught me off guard.

I found myself with very little patience for what felt like a complete lack of perspective.

But the more I reflected on it, the more I realized there was a much bigger lesson hiding beneath the surface.

A Word Is Just a Word

I should probably acknowledge something.

Personally, the word itself doesn't bother me.

In fact, I don't view "fuck" as a bad word at all. I view it as a word that, somewhere along the way, society collectively decided was offensive.

To me, it's simply a word.

People use it to express excitement, frustration, surprise, disbelief, grief, anger, joy, and countless other emotions.

What matters more to me is the energy, intention, and meaning behind the words than the words themselves.

A word used to intentionally hurt another person carries a very different energy than a word spoken by someone standing in the middle of devastation.

When I watched that interview, I wasn't focused on the language.

I was focused on the human being.

I saw a father.

I saw shock.

I saw grief.

I saw disbelief.

I saw someone trying to process the kind of loss most of us hope we never have to experience.

I saw a man trying to find words in a moment when there really are no adequate words.

That's why the comments caught me off guard.

While some people heard a word, I heard a human being.

We All See Different Things

Hundreds of people watched the same video.

Some saw language they didn't like.

Others saw a devastated father standing in the ruins of his life.

Some focused on the delivery.

Others focused on the message.

Some noticed a word.

Others noticed a wound.

Same video.

Same interview.

Completely different experiences.

Why?

Because awareness follows attention.

What we choose to focus on determines what we experience.

And what we experience shapes how we respond.

This isn't just true in moments of tragedy.

It's true in every area of our lives.

We can focus on what irritates us.

Or we can focus on what someone might be carrying.

We can focus on what is imperfect.

Or we can focus on what is human.

Spirit and Ego: A Different Perspective

This experience also reminded me of something I teach often when discussing Spirit and Ego.

Many spiritual teachings portray Ego as something negative that needs to be conquered, silenced, or eliminated.

That has never been my perspective.

Ego has an important role.

Without Ego, we wouldn't function well in the physical world. Ego helps us create structure, set goals, solve problems, navigate challenges, and turn ideas into action.

Spirit brings connection.

Spirit brings intuition.

Spirit helps us recognize the bigger picture.

Spirit reminds us of our humanity.

The goal isn't to choose Spirit over Ego.

The goal is balance.

Healthy Ego notices details.

Healthy Spirit notices meaning.

Healthy Ego observes what is happening.

Healthy Spirit seeks understanding.

Both perspectives have value.

But when we become locked into observation without understanding, we risk losing sight of the human experience standing in front of us.

In the tornado interview, yes, there was language some people disliked.

That observation wasn't wrong.

But when the observation became more important than the suffering itself, something essential was lost.

The human being disappeared behind the judgment.

And that is where compassion begins to slip away.

The Messages We Miss

As someone who teaches intuitive development, this situation reminded me of something I see all the time.

People often miss messages because they're focused on the packaging.

The Universe doesn't always communicate in neat, polished, comfortable ways.

Sometimes guidance arrives through heartbreak.

Sometimes through disappointment.

Sometimes through grief.

Sometimes through difficult conversations.

Sometimes through people who are doing the best they can while carrying burdens we know nothing about.

When we become attached to how a message is delivered, we can miss what it's trying to teach us.

The lesson wasn't in the word.

The lesson was in the response.

The lesson was in the compassion.

The lesson was in the invitation to look deeper.

What Are You Choosing to See?

The more I reflected on this experience, the more I realized it wasn't really about the commenters.

It became a question for all of us.

What do we notice first?

What captures our attention?

What do we choose to see?

When someone is struggling, do we focus on their reaction or their pain?

When someone makes a mistake, do we focus on the error or the lesson?

When life presents us with an opportunity for understanding, do we move toward compassion or criticism?

These aren't always comfortable questions.

But they matter.

Because what we choose to focus on becomes the lens through which we experience the world.

A family lost almost everything that day.

Their home.

Their livelihood.

Their possessions.

Their beloved pets.

Their sense of safety.

My hope is that as they move through the long and difficult road ahead, they are surrounded by far more compassion than criticism.

And perhaps that's the lesson we almost missed.

Sometimes the most important thing we can offer another human being isn't our opinion.

It's our understanding.

And in a world that often rushes to judge, understanding may be one of the most powerful gifts we have left to give.

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